Saturday, November 5, 2011

Armageddon

  • When an asteroid the size of Texas is headed for Earth, the worlds best deep core drilling team is sent to nuke the rock from the inside.Starring: Ben Affleck, Steve Buscemi, Keith David, Will Patton, PeterStormare, Billy Bob Thornton, Liv Tyler, and Bruce Willis.Directed By: Michael BayRunning Time: 2 hrs. 31 mins.This film is presented in "Widescreen" format.Copyright 1999 Buena Vista Format
In DEEP IMPACT, Leo Beiderman (Elijah Wood), joins a field study for his high school's Astronomy Club and discovers a new comet that unfortunately is headed for Earth. While scientists build a cave to prevent the extinction of the human race, they estimate that only 800,000 people can be selected to survive the "Deep Impact." The threat of a comet ending the world quickly sends Americans into a panic until the president announces a plan to send astronauts on a mission to destroy the comet before it rea! ches earth.A great big rock hits the earth, and lots of people die. That's pretty much all there is to it, and most of that was in the trailer. Can a major Hollywood movie really squeak by with such a slender excuse for a premise? The old disaster-movie king, cheese-meister Irwin Allen (The Poseidon Adventure, Earthquake), would have made a kitsch classic out of this, with Charlton Heston, rather than a resigned and mumbly Robert Duvall, as the veteran astronaut who risks several lives trying to blow up the comet that's headed right this way! As stiffly directed by Mimi Leder, this thick slice of ham errs on the side of solemnity. It may the be most earnest end-of-the-world picture since Stanley Kramer's atomic-doom drama On the Beach. There are a couple of classic melodramatic flourishes: an estranged father and daughter who share a tearful reconciliation as a Godzilla-sized tidal wave looms on the horizon; and an astronaut, communicating on vi! deo with his loved ones back on Earth, who follows whispered i! nstructi ons from a buddy lurking just off camera--so that his little boy won't realize that he's been struck blind. With Morgan Freeman as the president of the United States. --David ChuteDEEP IMPACT - Blu-Ray MovieA great big rock hits the earth, and lots of people die. That's pretty much all there is to it, and most of that was in the trailer. Can a major Hollywood movie really squeak by with such a slender excuse for a premise? The old disaster-movie king, cheese-meister Irwin Allen (The Poseidon Adventure, Earthquake), would have made a kitsch classic out of this, with Charlton Heston, rather than a resigned and mumbly Robert Duvall, as the veteran astronaut who risks several lives trying to blow up the comet that's headed right this way! As stiffly directed by Mimi Leder, this thick slice of ham errs on the side of solemnity. It may the be most earnest end-of-the-world picture since Stanley Kramer's atomic-doom drama On the Beach. There are a! couple of classic melodramatic flourishes: an estranged father and daughter who share a tearful reconciliation as a Godzilla-sized tidal wave looms on the horizon; and an astronaut, communicating on video with his loved ones back on Earth, who follows whispered instructions from a buddy lurking just off camera--so that his little boy won't realize that he's been struck blind. With Morgan Freeman as the president of the United States. --David ChuteA great big rock hits the earth, and lots of people die. That's pretty much all there is to it, and most of that was in the trailer. Can a major Hollywood movie really squeak by with such a slender excuse for a premise? The old disaster-movie king, cheese-meister Irwin Allen (The Poseidon Adventure, Earthquake), would have made a kitsch classic out of this, with Charlton Heston, rather than a resigned and mumbly Robert Duvall, as the veteran astronaut who risks several lives trying to blow up the comet that's ! headed right this way! As stiffly directed by Mimi Lede! r, this thick slice of ham errs on the side of solemnity. It may the be most earnest end-of-the-world picture since Stanley Kramer's atomic-doom drama On the Beach. There are a couple of classic melodramatic flourishes: an estranged father and daughter who share a tearful reconciliation as a Godzilla-sized tidal wave looms on the horizon; and an astronaut, communicating on video with his loved ones back on Earth, who follows whispered instructions from a buddy lurking just off camera--so that his little boy won't realize that he's been struck blind. With Morgan Freeman as the president of the United States. --David ChuteA great big rock hits the earth, and lots of people die. That's pretty much all there is to it, and most of that was in the trailer. Can a major Hollywood movie really squeak by with such a slender excuse for a premise? The old disaster-movie king, cheese-meister Irwin Allen (The Poseidon Adventure, Earthquake), would have made a kitsch c! lassic out of this, with Charlton Heston, rather than a resigned and mumbly Robert Duvall, as the veteran astronaut who risks several lives trying to blow up the comet that's headed right this way! As stiffly directed by Mimi Leder, this thick slice of ham errs on the side of solemnity. It may the be most earnest end-of-the-world picture since Stanley Kramer's atomic-doom drama On the Beach. There are a couple of classic melodramatic flourishes: an estranged father and daughter who share a tearful reconciliation as a Godzilla-sized tidal wave looms on the horizon; and an astronaut, communicating on video with his loved ones back on Earth, who follows whispered instructions from a buddy lurking just off camera--so that his little boy won't realize that he's been struck blind. With Morgan Freeman as the president of the United States. --David ChuteFrom the blockbuster-making team who produced and directed PEARL HARBOR and THE ROCK (Jerry Bruckheimer and ! Michael Bay) comes the biggest movie of 1998 -- ARMAGEDDON! St! arring t he explosive talents of Bruce Willis (DIE HARD), Academy Award(R)-winners Ben Affleck (GOOD WILL HUNTING) and Billy Bob Thornton (SLING BLADE), Liv Tyler (INVENTING THE ABBOTTS), Steve Buscemi (CON AIR), and Will Patton (INVENTING THE ABBOTTS), ARMAGEDDON is a meteor storm of action-adventure moviemaking that has you on the edge of your seat forgetting to breathe! When NASA's executive director, Dan Truman (Thornton), realizes the Earth has 18 days before it's obliterated by a meteor the size of Texas, he has only one option -- land a ragtag team of roughneck oil drillers on the asteroid and drop a nuclear warhead into its core. Spectacular special effects, laugh-out-loud humor, great characters, riveting storytelling, and heartfelt emotion make ARMAGEDDON an exhilarating thrill ride you'll want to experience like there's no tomorrow.The latest testosterone-saturated blow-'em-up from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay (The Rock, Bad Boys) conti! nues Hollywood's millennium-fueled fascination with the destruction of our planet. There's no arguing that the successful duo understands what mainstream American audiences want in their blockbuster movies--loads of loud, eye-popping special effects, rapid-fire pacing, and patriotic flag waving. Bay's protagonists--the eight crude, lewd, oversexed (but lovable, of course) oil drillers summoned to save the world from a Texas-sized meteor hurling toward the earth--are not flawless heroes, but common men with whom all can relate. In this huge Western-in-space soap opera, they're American cowboys turned astronauts. Sci-fi buffs will appreciate Bay's fetishizing of technology, even though it's apparent he doesn't understand it as anything more than flashing lights and shiny gadgets. Smartly, the duo also tries to lure the art-house crowd, raiding the local indie acting stable and populating the film with guys like Steve Buscemi, Billy Bob Thornton, Owen Wilson, and Michael Dunc! an, all adding needed touches of humor and charisma. When Bay ! applies his sledgehammer aesthetics to the action portions of the film, it's mindless fun; it's only when Armageddon tackles humanity that it becomes truly offensive. Not since Mississippi Burning have racial and cultural stereotypes been substituted for characters so blatantly--African Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Scottish, Samoans, Muslims, French ... if it's not white and American, Bay simplifies it. Or, make that white male America; the film features only three notable females--four if you count the meteor, who's constantly referred to as a "bitch that needs drillin'," but she's a hell of a lot more developed and unpredictable than the other women characters combined. Sure, Bay's film creates some tension and contains some visceral moments, but if he can't create any redeemable characters outside of those in space, what's the point of saving the planet? --Dave McCoyThe 1998 testosterone-saturated blow-'em-up from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and direct! or Michael Bay (The Rock, Bad Boys) continues Hollywood's millennium-fueled fascination with the destruction of our planet. There's no arguing that the successful duo understands what mainstream American audiences want in their blockbuster movies--loads of loud, eye-popping special effects, rapid- fire pacing, and patriotic flag waving. Bay's protagonists--the eight crude, lewd, oversexed (but lovable, of course) oil drillers summoned to save the world from a Texas-sized meteor hurling toward the earth--are not flawless heroes, but common men with whom all can relate. In this huge Western-in-space soap opera, they're American cowboys turned astronauts. Sci-fi buffs will appreciate Bay's fetishizing of technology, even though it's apparent he doesn't understand it as anything more than flashing lights and shiny gadgets. Smartly, the duo also tries to lure the art-house crowd, raiding the local indie acting stable and populating the film with guys like Steve Bus! cemi, Billy Bob Thornton, Owen Wilson, and Michael Duncan, all! adding needed touches of humor and charisma. When Bay applies his sledgehammer aesthetics to the action portions of the film, it's mindless fun; it's only when Armageddon tackles humanity that it becomes truly offensive. Not since Mississippi Burning have racial and cultural stereotypes been substituted for characters so blatantly--African Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Scottish, Samoans, Muslims, French ... if it's not white and American, Bay simplifies it. Or, make that white male America; the film features only three notable females--four if you count the meteor, who's constantly referred to as a "bitch that needs drillin'," but she's a hell of a lot more developed and unpredictable than the other women characters combined. Sure, Bay's film creates some tension and contains some visceral moments, but if he can't create any redeemable characters outside of those in space, what's the point of saving the planet? --Dave McCoy

Beyond the Sea

  • TESTED
One of America’s greatest performers, Bobby Darin lived a rags-to-riches life. He worked his way from shady nightclubs to his dream destination, The Copacabana, where he wowed crowds with "Splish Splash," "Mack the Knife" and other hits. He was a marvel at singing, songwriting and performing â€" stealing the hearts of fans everywhere despite the suffering in his own hear.The chameleon-like actor Kevin Spacey is best known for playing pyschopaths (in Seven and The Usual Suspects) and capturing a creepy mid-life crisis in American Beauty--but surprisingly, playing crooner Bobby Darin, Spacey does some snappy dancing and top-notch singing. Beyond the Sea puts Darin's life through a bit of a kaleidoscope: While singing Darin's most memorable hit, "Mack the Knife," Darin suddenly stops the show, revealing that he's not at a nightclub, but in the middle of a s! hooting a scene about his life as a nightclub performer. Why has he stopped? Because he's just seen himself as a young boy, peering from behind a curtain. Such self-conscious narrative twists recur throughout the movie, turning Darin's fight for fame and respect into a love story between his adult and childhood selves. Sandra Dee (Kate Bosworth, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!), a hugely popular movie star in her own right, was supposedly the love of Darin's life, but she never holds his attention as does his childhood self (played by newcomer William Ullrich). It's a striking metaphor for the narcissism that drives such success-hungry entertainers. But despite (or perhaps because of) the complexity of the telling, the events never grip your emotions; though Darin's life featured hits galore and a few soap opera twists, his story lacks the seductive charm of his nighclub show. Also featuring Bob Hoskins, John Goodman, Brenda Blethyn, and Greta Scacchi. --Bret Fetzer!

Hoodwinked (Widescreen Edition)

  • A new spin on an old fable. In this film, Red, Granny, The Big Bad Wolf and the Woodman, all face Detective Flippers as he attempts to determine the 'real' events of the Little Red Riding Hood story. Original songs and witty humor fill this fun and adventurous film. Format: DVD MOVIE Genre: CHILDREN Rating: PG Age: 796019791090 UPC: 796019791090 Manufacture
So you think you know the story of Little Red Riding Hood. Don’t be too sure. . . . One of your favorite fairy tales is turned upside-down and inside-out in what the L.A. Times called "high-energy, imaginative entertainment." With irreverent storytelling, spunk and wit, Hoodwinked delivers a comedy caper for the young, the young at heart and everyone in between. When the police arrive at Granny’s cottage in the woods to answer a domestic disturbance call, it looks like just another open-and-shut case. But Red, Granny, the B! ig Bad Wolf and the Woodsman are not your usual suspects, as they have their own dark secrets, wily deceptions and conflicting accounts of the crime. Together, they must put aside their differences and find their own original twist on Happily Ever After in this "raucous, genre-busting, animated gem (Entertainment Weekly, The Must List)."Hoodwinked fuses the classic fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood with the crisscrossing storylines of film noir--pretty ambitious stuff for a computer-animated cartoon. The police cordon off Grandma's cottage and an amphibious version of William Powell named Nicky Flippers (voiced by David Ogden Stiers, M*A*S*H) begins interrogating the suspects: A Little Red in bell-bottoms (Anne Hathaway, Ella Enchanted), a Wolf turned investigative journalist (Patrick Warburton, The Woman Chaser), a snow-boarding Granny (Glenn Close, 101 Dalmatians), and a dimwitted would-be Woodsman (Jim Belushi, Curly! Sue), each of whom have very different reasons for ending! up in t hat cottage living room. The visual style of Hoodwinked mixes a clunky, video-game look with an homage to the stop-motion puppetry of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and other Rankin-Bass holiday specials. While sometimes awkward, there are also moments of surreal beauty, such as when a depressed Red wanders through a field of blue and red flowers--and moments of lunatic comedy, such as the Schnitzel song, which is irresistibly bizarre. The Shrek-style pop-culture references grow annoying, but the left-field goofiness of a yodeling goat points toward a far more distinct and delightful comic world. Also featuring the voices of Anthony Anderson (Kangaroo Jack), rapper Xzibit, and an especially witty turn by Andy Dick (NewsRadio) as a deceptively cute bunny rabbit. --Bret Fetzer

Human Trafficking

  • HUMAN TRAFFICKING (DVD MOVIE)
Here's the hip, adrenaline-pumped comedy about one wild weekend in the lives of five young friends ... and how their latest raved-up adventure just might change their outlook before the next weekend arrives! For Jip, Lulu, Koop, Nina, and Moff, workdays are merely the dreary downtime between frenetic 48-hour binges of clubbing, pubbing, and partying without rules or limits! But when these friends spend a wild weekend in search of some meaning and real connections, they'll see things in ways they've never imagined! Fast, funny, and excitingly original -- discover for yourself this widely acclaimed hit!Human Traffic wants to be a Trainspotting for the rave set, and so it has thick British accents, hip snotty attitudes, slick visuals, a propulsive electronic soundtrack, and unfortunately some very weak writing and drab characters. A band of friends, w! ith the cute names of Jip, Koop, Nina, Lulu, and Moff, are sex-obsessed clubgoers having some sort of premature midlife crisis. Jip and Lulu are best friends, only their friendship is about to be threatened by sexual tension. Koop gets ravingly jealous about his girlfriend, Nina. Moff masturbates a lot and has a repressive dad. Jip's mother is a prostitute. Koop's father is a paranoid schizophrenic. What little plot there is revolves around whether or not they'll get into a particularly hip club. Critics usually complain that movies are too much like music videos, but Human Traffic could stand to be more of one. All the best moments are when the tepid dialogue stops and the driving beats and quickly edited images take over. A brief break dancing sequence is a moment of genuine dazzle. The actors aren't completely without charm, but the movie is just trying too hard to achieve the effervescent buzz it seeks. --Bret FetzerStudio: Lions Gate Home Ent. Release D! ate: 05/17/2011 Run time: 84 minutes Rating: RHuman Traff! ic w ants to be a Trainspotting for the rave set, and so it has thick British accents, hip snotty attitudes, slick visuals, a propulsive electronic soundtrack, and unfortunately some very weak writing and drab characters. A band of friends, with the cute names of Jip, Koop, Nina, Lulu, and Moff, are sex-obsessed clubgoers having some sort of premature midlife crisis. Jip and Lulu are best friends, only their friendship is about to be threatened by sexual tension. Koop gets ravingly jealous about his girlfriend, Nina. Moff masturbates a lot and has a repressive dad. Jip's mother is a prostitute. Koop's father is a paranoid schizophrenic. What little plot there is revolves around whether or not they'll get into a particularly hip club. Critics usually complain that movies are too much like music videos, but Human Traffic could stand to be more of one. All the best moments are when the tepid dialogue stops and the driving beats and quickly edited images take over. A ! brief break dancing sequence is a moment of genuine dazzle. The actors aren't completely without charm, but the movie is just trying too hard to achieve the effervescent buzz it seeks. --Bret FetzerNominated for Two Golden Globes® - Best Actress and Best Actor in a TV Miniseries; Lifetime Television's most-watched miniseries of 2005. Featuring Emmy® and Golden Globe® Award winner Donald Sutherland (The Italian Job), Academy Award® and Golden Globe® Award winner Mira Sorvino (Mighty Aphrodite) and Trainspotting's Robert Carlyle, Human Trafficking is at once a gripping thriller, a cautionary tale, and one of the most fundamentally important stories of our time. DVD Features include: Interviews with Mira Sorvino and Robert Carlyle, Behind the Scenes with the cast and crew, and A "Take Action" Guide to shop human trafficking now! The Lifetime cable channel made TV history with this ambitious, acclaimed original miniseries on the horrifying phenomenon of human traffi! cking, or sexual slavery. It follows the fictional cases of yo! ung wome n around the world, lured or abducted, sometimes right off the street, into a world of unspeakable brutality--which the filmmakers show in almost overwhelming detail at times. Mira Sorvino and Donald Sutherland star as American government officials bent on exposing and stopping the phenomenon, and both are more than serviceable in their roles. But the revelation is Robert Carlyle, the Scottish star of The Full Monty and Trainspotting, who here is transformed into a ruthless criminal mastermind behind his own trafficking network. Even his Eastern European accent is spot-on and blood-chilling. The supporting cast of women and girls is strong, and in some cases, truly heartbreaking. And while sometimes almost unbearably harsh, the film serves as a reminder this terrible situation still exists and thrives; and told through the characters, is also a well-paced thriller. --A.T. Hurley

Friday the 13th (Extended Killer Cut)

  • A man in search of his missing sister stumbles across a deadly secret in the woods surrounding Crystal Lake as Texas Chainsaw Massacre redux duo Michael Bay and Marcus Nispel resurrect one of the silver screen's most feared slashers -- machete-wielding, hockey mask-wearing madman Jason Voorhees. The last time Clay heard from his sister, she was headed toward Crystal Lake. There, amidst the creaky
Studio: Paramount Home Video Release Date: 10/04/2011 Run time: 736 minutesFriday the 13th
This splatter flick, along with John Carpenter's Halloween, helped spawn the great horror-movie movement of the '80s, not to mentioneight sequels, many of which had nothing to do with the films that preceded them. It also gave birth to Jason Voorhees, one of the three biggest horror-movie psychos of the modern era (the other two being Halloween's Michael Myer! s and A Nightmare on Elm Street's Freddy Krueger). Forever duplicated, the original Friday the 13th popularized a number of themes and techniques that today are now clichés: the increasingly gory murders, the remote forest location, the anonymous and nubile cast, the murderer as cult hero, and, of course, the moral that if you have sex, you will die, very painfully. Still, if you have to see a Friday the 13th movie, this is the one to check out. A group of eager (and horny) teenagers decide to reopen Camp Crystal Lake, which 20 years earlier was closed after the shocking and mysterious murders of two amorous camp counselors. You can take it from there, as the teens get picked off one by one, during a dark and stormy night; of course, their car won't start and there's no phone. The ending stole shamelessly from Brian De Palma's Carrie, but it still provides a slight if campy shock. Look for a young Kevin Bacon as the requisite! stud--you can tell that's what he is because when the cast a! ppears i n swimsuits, he's wearing a Speedo--who's the beneficiary of the film's best murder sequence, an arrowhead to the throat. Right after having sex, of course. --Mark Englehart

Friday the 13th, Part 2
As bad as Friday the 13th, Part 2 is, it's a work of art in comparison to the rest of the Friday the 13th flicks that came afterward. This installment officially introduced us to Jason Voorhees as the killer (if you remember Drew Barrymore's fatal phone quiz in Scream, you know that the killer in the first Friday the 13th was actually Jason's mother), and made the slicing and dicing even more generic. Survivor Alice is dispatched within the first 10 minutes, and we're left with plucky Ginny (Amy Steel, doing a fairly decent Jamie Lee Curtis impression) to do battle with the monstrous Jason. Ginny's part of a another group of horny teenagers (less intelligent as well as less attractive than their! predecessors) who try to resurrect Camp Crystal Lake five years after the initial murders--a pretty mean feat, considering this movie was made only a year after the first one. Being a smarty-pants child-psychology major, Ginny tries to outwit the dim Jason, and at one point dons the bloody and moldy sweater of Jason's late mother (which is more disgusting than any of the killings beforehand) in an attempt to confuse the masked killer. Jason may not be the brightest bulb on the tree, but the only one who's going to pull the wool--or in this case, the burlap--over his eyes is Jason himself, who wears a sack with one eyehole throughout the movie to hide his deformed features (he finally found his way to a sporting-goods store and his trademark hockey mask appears in the third installment of the series). Directed by Steve Miner, who also helmed the next Friday the 13th film (in 3-D no less) as well as the more reputable House, Forever Young, and Halloween: H20. --Mark Englehart
Friday the 13th, Part 3
The tender, tragic saga of Jason Vorhees, the world's unhappiest camper, continues when yet another batch of hormonally advanced teens decide to ignore past history and spend some time at the woodsy, pine-scented slaughterhouse known as Camp Crystal Lake. It may be a bit of a stretch to describe any of the entries in this interminable series as "good," but this creatively grotesque installment manages to come surprisingly close with a welcome sense of humor and some quick glimmers of real menace (courtesy of director Steve Miner, who would later go on to helm the far more accomplished Halloween: H20). Originally presented in 3-D, which explains the never-ending slew of objects (knives, pitchforks, yo-yos, cats, eyeballs, etc.) that are repeatedly thrust in the viewer's general direction. --Andrew Wright

Friday the 13th, The Final Chapter
Amateur butcher and enthusiasti! c hockey fan Jason Vorhees is back in business, and business is good. Can a plucky young boy stop the madness before Camp Crystal Lake's population report takes yet another machete-aided dip? The stalk-and-slash formula was pretty narcoleptic by this point, but this otherwise humdrum entry is distinguished by some unusual casting choices (Crispin Glover as a stud in training? Corey Feldman as a genius?) and the splattery return of makeup master Tom Savini. The fact that this installment was titled The Final Chapter may seem to contradict the existence of the numerous sequels that followed, but it's not as if logic was ever this series' strong point to begin with. --Andrew Wright

Friday the 13th, Part VII
A philosophical quandary: when we truly get a glimpse behind the mask, do we like what we see? This eternal question is directly addressed in chapter 7 of the famed Friday the 13th gross-out series. Here! , indestructible killing machine Jason meets his match in the! form of a telekinetic teenage girl. Yes, it's "Carrie Goes Camping," although the young lady with special powers might have picked a better vacation spot than Crystal Lake, which has an awful track record for young blondes in tight jeans. This installment is exactly no better or worse than the previous Jason-o-ramas, with the added bonus of a climax in which the imperturbable Mr. Voorhees actually duels someone with supernatural gifts to rival his own. Yes, he does lose his hockey mask (the heroine mind-wills it to pop off), and the results ain't pretty--but then, neither is the Friday the 13th franchise. --Robert Horton

Friday the 13th, Part VIII
Start spreadin' the news... Jason Voorhees, the cleaver-hoisting man in the hockey mask, has finally left Crystal Lake behind and taken his vagabond shoes to the Big Apple. Actually, Jason spends most of his time on a cruise ship bound for Manhattan, carving up the unluckiest ! high school graduation party ever. You'd think the change of scenery might breathe new life, or death, into the series, but chapter 8 is standard stalk 'em and slash 'em fare, albeit with a nautical slant. The title hints at a comic tone, but except for the one-joke idea that Jason fits right into the menacing urban scene, forget it. (The comedy would wait until the surprisingly entertaining Jason X.) This one does have a pretty leading lady, Jensen Daggett, whose visions of the young drowned Jason are occasionally creepy. The grown-up Jason, like "these little-town blues," is melting away. --Robert Horton
Camp Crystal Lake has been shuttered for over 20 years due to several vicious and unsolved murders. The camp's new owner and seven young counselors are readying the property for re-opening despite warnings of a "death curse" by local residents. The curse proves true on Friday the 13th as one by one each of the counselors is stalked by a vio! lent killer.If you thought a bigger budget and an A-list produ! cer (Mic hael Bay) would go to Jason's head, well, forget it. The indestructible villain of so many bottom-of-the-barrel shockers isn't about to change his shtick, and the 2009 Friday the 13th proves it. This, the umpteenth sequel (nope, it's not a remake of the origin story) to the original 1980 movie, gives us a clever prologue that manages to fit an entire Jason Voorhees killing spree in a brisk and bloody 20 minutes. Jumping ahead six weeks, the film introduces a carload of clueless teens headed for a weekend at a lakeside cabin, plus a lone motorcyclist (Jared Padalecki) in search of his missing sister (Amanda Righetti). When the "lakeside" happens to refer to Crystal Lake, of course, there can be only one outcome. Cue the hockey mask, and pass the machete. Bay and director Marcus Nispel, who collaborated on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, are surprisingly indifferent to changing up the formula this time, although there's more care taken in building up a fe! w characters, and for once the comic relief (mostly supplied by Aaron Yoo and Arlen Escarpeta) is pretty funny. You might even regret the slaughter of a couple of these young folk, which is an unusual feeling in Friday-watching. The film's Jason is quite the athletic fellow, and he's assembled an elaborate underground corpse-hiding lair in the vicinity of Crystal Lake. How he's been able to live down there for 30 years (if the film's own timeline is to be believed) and had enough unwitting campers pass by to keep himself entertained is anybody's guess. But if they keep coming, he'll keep slashing. --Robert Horton

Also on the disc
The extended Killer Cut is 106 minutes compared to 97 for the theatrical cut, and it's hard to imagine choosing to watch the theatrical cut if you have a choice. In addition to some more of Amanda Righetti and of Jason, the extra nine minutes is mostly more gore in the gory scenes and more sex in the sexy scenes. If y! ou're squeamish you might not want those things, but if you're! that sq ueamish you probably don't want to watch Friday the 13th in the first place, right? The longer cut will give you more of the stuff that you probably watch this movie for. There's also an 11-minute featurette on the new movie and three deleted scenes (a different version of Jason getting his mask, the police response to the phone call, and a revised climax). --David Horiuchi

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